Perfection is non existent

When you live the perfect life and you have the perfect partner and the perfect family and the perfect job and what everyone seems in life is pure perfection, it feels like its everything you ever wanted, everything your family ever wanted for you and everything life is meant to be... Perfect. When everything is perfect.. Then what could you possible get from such perfection that you don't already have. Pure disaster.  

the balance to maintain this goal to satisfy everything and everyone with this image ( and at times true heart and appreciation for the everything that I had ) became daunting. Our own mind can destroy us, lead us to believe that what we have is what we wanted all a long, or in my case what I had was a) my peak or b) not what I deserved.

the moment I loved and had love returned back, the sabotaging began.  

My wresting match with myself began. The questions, the doubt, the face to face encounters with shit I never existed in my 'perfect world' that I have built around me.. What once was a beautiful location was mearly plywood with paint.    

The battle began, answered needed to be revealed to questions I never thought to ask.  

Situations that the healing occurred was not healed at all but all open wounds infected by ignorant false resolutions.  

The  perfect that I had worked for since the age of 7. The proud roster I had for my family to Bask in the glory of the success that their son, nephew, grandson has accomplished and the love that he finally had (that can't be fucked up) ended up beyond that.. The perfect that I had worked and sweat and fought and confidently accomplished ..was earned with heart and truth. 

It was the internal self that was not in on the rise but Waiting patiently for the age of 30 to tap me on the shoulder and say "hey aj. Watch out for the sign." And there it was realized.

There is no perfect.  

embrass the imperfections because imperfection is perfection.  

5 years later the lesson is still being learned and forever be.  

Angel part 2: cohesive

November 30, 2009

One day on a stroll through Brooklyn I came across this beautiful angel of the future.. 

By this point my wings were done and since those Wings represented my family and of the 'all' that over looks me and keeps me safe then and now. This new addition was the future. Though a baby, the future was a rebirth a restart.  

Cohesive none the less.   

LOVE AND MISERY

4 12, 2009 ORIGINAL   11:10 2002 UPGRADE

NOT MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!! I REPEAT NOT MISERY LOVES COMPANY!

YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ONE TO GET TO THE OTHER. 

MISERY (L)   LOVE (R)

LOVE :I feel love is a word that is the ultimate everything. The power that love is and the power that love can do is indescribable.  Too love and be loved is a gift and it's true something that can change the a mood, a day, a moment or the world.   I love love.  and am grateful for the love that i am given and the love that (when accepted) i am able to give. 

MISERY:  I dont feel hate is the opposite of love. I hate is a mean word yes but its that the extreme that the word LOVE entails, embodies. I feet MISERY was the opposite of love and it something that powerful and can destroy. Its not a good place or feeling to feel. But its the extreme. Both feeling when felt are powerful and can change your heart, your mind. 

But to able to appreciate LOVE, truly appreciate you must must experience everything else, including MISERY. Just let LOVE being the place that you know you deserve.  

My second tattoo were the words misery and love in a font that grew to be annoying.. and Swag thought the same thing.

He wanted very desperately to give them an upgrade so that it was more fluid and cohesive with the overall story. Hence the vines that come out  each. The LOVE  has vines that connect with the Born to Blossom but it other does not connect.

The plan was to connect all once my story was done.. its done. 

CARRYING TIME

The universe works in mysterious ways. And as i grew up and experienced experiences, it left me angry or unhappy or resentful. It just depended on the situation and how it didn't work in my favor. I was the victim, 'the universe just apparently didn't want me happy' was selfish mindset that was once a resident in my brain.

In time when the space became available for me to sit in my thoughts and process, accept and move on from x,y,z... that is when the reality hit.  Because over analyzing everything is just the way my brain works  it was realized if something was meant to be it would be. If he loved me then he'd be loving me, if I was meant to get that show, i would have got the show. That weekend love affair with the boy who has a boyfriend, who will never leave his boyfriend...what ever the situation was that i was in, ultimately if it was meant to be.. it would have.

 Its quite simple.  And i think that the simplicity of it what we as a society fear the most. Cause this bruises our egos and flairs our insecurities. And who is the universe to say i don't deserve something?  When really it has nothing do with any of that. 

Timing is everything. If it is meant to be the timing would be right and The universe would agree but if isn't right then that right is still to come for you, for me... 

It very easy to be at the knees of the universe and ask why. Why did they pass? why didn't he pick me, why did i get fired, why did i loose everything? why did i x, y ,z?  

Timing is everything, don't get angry at it, don't blame it, just appreciate it, listen to it and take it all as lessons. I mean thats what life is all about isn't it? 

After Swag did this piece on my arm, he later gifted me with an a pocket watch of his own. Now what is interesting most is this exact particular pocket watch he gifted me with,  was not in the company of us when he tattoo'd me.  He had other ones and pictures, What we found weird was that this particular pocket watch ironically looks exactly like the one he tattooed on my arm.  

Born to Blossom, Bloom to Perish

March 26, 2010

Anyone who know me knows that from an early age of maybe 13 or 13 years old I use to collect magazine. Vogue, Vanity Fair, Entertainment Weekly, anything that had a photo spread that was unfarmiliar and cool to my green curiosity in photography.  

Also, anyone who knows me knows No Doubt is the # 1 band of choice.  It's a So-Cal loyality and a love for the emotion that is their lyrics and fun that was their ska!  

Well one day Gwen Stefani, while promoting her first solo album, graced the cover vogue. Within this article they talk her fame, they talk her new knowledge of fashion, they talk her love but what grabbed my attention is they talked her process. Her process to writing a song. 

Side note: I feel everything so I love music mainly for the heart and raw reality that is this vaulnerabilty That this artist is sharing with me.. And i react because I can relate. Some gets me, some said what I couldn't say. 

So lyrics are my everything. 

processs is next in line. The how to, the how I did, the step one... All the way to the detail of bringing an idea to fruition.. Is like ten Christmas days for my eyes and right brain. :)  

So I read and read and then she said something... And I froze  

Now in 2004 I was 24, my last year of college before getting my bachelors and going directly right into my first  job in t.v and so on and so forth.   

Now, when I started college i already felt "behind" not sure under who's standards but it became mine..

internal monologue " aj your going to be a 25 year old p.a that sad. I'm not being a p.a for the max 2 shows"

internal monologue "your graduating at 25 the kids around you are 18. WTF,  do it get it all done quick. 

I pushed and pushed and pushed and pressured and put myself down all for the sake of being a better me. A successful son who my parents and family can be proud of... 

(Not sure where that aggressive tough love I gave myself came from but everything I disect - finger points back at me. 

parents supported never pressured. School system held your hand but didn't look both way before crossing the street with you.. I had to do this this way and thats its.  

Then the pressure got harder - where will have time for  family, what about everything I want to do before i die. I have to graduate, work on these dream shows I have write and direct, I have to etc etc and the fear sat with the question how the fuck am I going to get this done.

 And those lyrics looked back at me and when I read it - all that pressure and all that aggressive thinking to rest.. And when it came back up (the overthinker I am) those lyrics calmed me cause I'd always say them to myself.  

It will get done. By who's clock? My own.  This is the circle of life, this the formular for the inevitable and I can freak out on questioning HOW or I can chill the fuck out and just DO.  Accept no matter what this is the end of the story - that's not changing. So just fucking blossom and bloom at everything I do and my story just gets more interesting.   

Cut to 2010 and that safety blanket of lyrics helped me stay balanced it became time to do the dead and that tattoo those lyrics that practically saved me and kept me on focus and not stray cause of fear or doubt but let me stay in my head with the thought "aj you can only blossom. Option A"  and so I did...  

Thanks Gwen for my reality check that was inspired by your own reality check.   

The vines that intertwine both lyrics were to connect all around my tattoos once  Swag and I were done telling this story that we have collaborating on... For many years.  

If your curious when these lyrics came alive in actually song.. First it was a b-side with no doubt  

Then again on her first solo track, that discussed the pressure of Just  being everything for everyone in time.   

Sketch: It can be better again

One flaw to felling everything is trying to not get stuck in an emotion, expecially if it's a depressing one.  

So, the same friend who shared the 'you are here' heart also shared this image. 

its a sketch of a woman, a bit sad, a bit in thought. A butterfly that rest on her ease, and color beautifully bleeding on her.  

When I was shared this image, it gave me hope, it told me:

i am, we are all incomplete sketches. All very much work in progress, indefinitely. Something I was in my own process of accepting. [long process...still] 

We have good days and we have bad days.  I got this at the time of truly accepting that this perfectection that I thought I was living wasn't quite perfect as I thought and I was beginning to embrace my bad days. Bad days that was starting to be ok with having... 

There is something to embracing but there is something else to knowing that it will get better. This bad day won't become you, I can't allow it to.

She, the sketch, may be melancholy in this moment that now rests on my shoulder forever, but hope too rests on her head in this moment.  The hope that is this butterfly represents the hope and the positive outlook that I will in time have again. And the beautiful colors that bleed are her Senses [the sense that make her/me feel alive, & present], the feelings of each of all, the color all coming back to her perspective, In time eventually becoming complete again. A complete moment of being present and looking clearly at the hope that is to come. 

 THIS BEST OF THE BEST PART OF THIS TATTOO IS PATTI TOO HAS THE MATCHING BUTTERFLY. We both have hope.  

I love you times a thousand Tatti Patti! 

June 17, 2011

Promise:

When life happens and you go through it, you have to at some point let something go and and have faith that it's all as it should be and hopefully you at that moment have the strength to make the right decision. 

I made a promise to myself. The promise to  me  was to be good energy and good love to myself and those around me. 

Its very easy to push ourselves down, it's very easy to fall into a negative pattern, I wanted to not go there.  

I ask my good friend Michael to translate this promise into Hebrew. English would have been too public and Spanish would have been to obvious. The history, the beauty intrigued of the Hebrew language. He eventually did translate, 4 years later.  He had his beliefs that hesitated him but mainly he just wanted to make sure I was serious.  

I promise... 

Dear Uncle, We Love You: note from niece and nephew

I asked my niece to write or create  something that represents them that in turn id get ink'd. 

She wrote, by hand, yes her very own hand, [People use to write with Pens and stuff it's bizzar] , the words 'Dear Uncle, We Love You '

And to that, Swag put in here 11 year old penmanship verbatim those words. 

Simple. Love. Family.   

Tale of Two Cities: Impactful individuals, I say thank you.

November 20, 2011

While living in Los Angeles and establishing my platform, my circle here got bigger and bigger and then I started to get really close with fewer and fewer people.  And the older we get the more these big social circles become smaller and smaller and ultimately life happens and many situations occurs where people move on or get pushed away or walk away, either way My love is love and I wanted to say thank you to those special people whom helped just by them being there, when timing allowed it. 

So, I came across this YOU ARE HERE graphic from my friend who loved finding these rare and meaningful JPEGs and actually this one and another we're images he shared with me that I just fell in love with and ultimately inspired art work that Swag helped bring to life and help express big moments of my life.   

I took this to Swag, the man the legend the artist and told him that I'd love this heart and I'd like to incorporate two maps: one side San Bernardino and one side Los Angeles. "Easy" he said.

He built it and put the red dot right in the center of the heart, then he says to me " lets get real personal, let's make the street names people who you love or mean something to you in your life right now."  

well fuck! That couldn't make any more sense!  

Swag was one those people who understood me, I'd walk with a very either minmul idea and he's blow it up to be ten times what I imagined or I come in with over produced idea he'd pull it down a little and say it with very little noise.  

So my heart was not only stitched on my right arm but now my heart is fully exposed and on display and aloud we (swag and I) convey a piece for those family and friends whom impacted my life. 

Names of streets: 

narcisa 

frank  

Valerie  

Marisa  

jeramiah  

leslie  

madison 

jesse  

jayson

patti  

tattoo lounge  

Shannon  

dennis  

Roger  

Jose

Dom

and there were more to be added but due to the circumstance those names will not be addressed in this thank you piece.  

AKA AJ: New Chapter

When I started my life and the chapter of college began to be written. There were some life altering decisions that needed to be made. The ultimate one was, 

What will my name read on the credit when ever my name comes up on TV, or the movies or even my name tag at the paint store that I will work at if everything else fails.

I was called tony and Anthony from my family and friend growing up and I tried Aj very hard when I was super young and it never bit. Someone told me anthony, Aj would never work.

Well I'll show you, who ever you are. 

On the first day of college, roll call was beginning and the courage was built the confidence was ready, the profession said Anthony james morales .. And i raised my hand and said..... "HERE."

whomp whomp  

day two, my second day of college and roll call began and when I heard my name Be called "Anthony james morales"  

i said,  "Aj. My name is Aj. "

and with the color of camouflage my new name that only take very little energy to now say.. You're welcome to everyone,  save ur mouth muscles for Valerie... Or narcisa...  

And so it began,  Aj, it did take a while to stick and with my terrible first language english dialogue everyone began to call me by my new creative name  "andrew" wait what?! They hear Andre.. Oh sigh

Heart Stiched on Sleeve: " "

Balloon Boy: My Youth taking risk

October 29, 2009

My mother played both rolls mother and father for a lot of my childhood. My freshman year is when we left my father;  me, my sister and my mom.

In a two bedroom house where my mom shared with my sister and I my own room - we bagan what become the norm and moved on from the once was.  She worked her as off or give us a normal life. A life that allowed us to Be able to still Go to school and continue on with our goals intact, leaving no gap in any doubt that anything can hold us back. 

There were times  when the local church brought us food and with embarrassment I declined the food but they leaving it there none the less at the door.  I couldn't handle that we were that family that needed that help but one woman working over 40 hours of work to raise a daughter who's graduating And a son who has 4 more years of school. 

Quickly,  I forced myself to grow up a bit faster then the average bear.  I use to watch and see other individuals on TV and in other forms of entertainment,  that were my age or younger and see that they  became successful and were proof that i can and be whatever i dream. Wade Robson, Brian Friedman,  to name a few.  So, I compared myself a lot to these and other public figures to drive me to work harder. Clearly it was a bad way of going about it and I ended up with a complex the older I got. Of course these were unrealistic comparisons but it worked out in the long wrong. For a while. 

I worked full time in San Bernardino at circuit city while starting school at Art Institute during my whole accociate program. For two years I committed myself and commuted the whole time.  I was social but it was something I balanced when I was truly about to do so.  It's was rare but I still found my balance. I never had those ragers, or raves, or        Bangers or keggers. It was only the goal at hand and that as to be the first to finish college in my family and to ultimately do what I love. 

This image that Taylor White created (picture below) I saw and it hit a nerve.  I was always the oldest young person, I always did the right thing and I was going to accomplish something with my life, but at the same time I have to loosen up. I have to not be so old man and live a little. Take risk, take chance do everything and cause i do all this hard work and I don't take time to enjoy the perks then what's the Real point of it all. 

So the boy represents my youth and reminds me to live a little. And take a leap, jump. Boy have I. 

Kingfisher(s): I Will Survive

March 26, 2010

May 2, 2010

In our paths and journey and adventures and lives - it's clear that easy is definitely not an option. But why would we want that then we would have no appreciation for anything.  

But my journey and my path at one point was a never PLAN A, mentality.  I never has a and be and to get to PLAN A, you fight and survive. There is no other option.  At one giving up was so foreign to me. The thought of something that I wanted and knew I deserved on came with the mentality of 'well,  of course it's going to be, I deserve it because I work for it, because I do my best, and best is truly best.' And as though it seems to may sound cocky, it's not it's truly believing that I deserve this. If something was not relalistic, I knew it, so I would go forth in a goal I knew I wasn't fit, qualified nor wanted. Everything thing I got, I busted my ass, I put in my heart, I did it honest and I did everything with passion and I fought. 

I wasn't the one model looks , I wasn't the one that picked first, ever. I was alway shorter then everyone and for most my life before puberty people thought I was my mom when I picked up the phone.   

Girls all wanted to be my friend, boys I was too afraid to admit I liked. But my mom never once allowed me to believe any of those things can hold me back. I was built to know that sure I'm small but I'm quick, anything that was flaw was actually a benefit in one way or another.. So, my mom never surgar coated anything, it was always 'this how it is' and if you want then get it.  That mentality just stuck and everything I wanted I fought for.  When it came to choosing a career, both my mom and dad backed me on my curiosities. Drafting. Tables, word processors and ultimately my first camera, Canon -AE1, which then became my passion. 

Im not an underdog but for a long I outlived a lot of things and where many people were too afraid to leave the best or comfort or formiliuality, I jumped from nest and I never fell in the Water because that wasn't an option. 

So, one day I was talking Swag, my artist, my collaborated, my co-storyteller, my friend (whom we all miss very very much) about a birds and finding one that if I were a bird id be ____. Thankful for me, this man knew a thing or two about birds, about a lot. Knowing me and the stuff Patti has told him of me, he tells me 'the kingfisher. Small like tikes, like hummingbirds, born over water. Group are born and a lot of little fuckers die but only a few live. If they don't drowned or not survive then they die. But there's always one that fights and doesn't gives up and outlives the rest. You're a kingfisher. " 

And so two kingfishers fly on my best. The blue is a more accurate one; the red doesn't exist but in the world we were creating we made a new kingfisher.     

The common kingfisher (Alcedo atthis) also known as Eurasian kingfisher, or river kingfisher, is a small kingfisher with seven subspecies recognized within its wide distribution across Eurasia and North Africa. 

 It is about 16 centimetres (6.3 in) long with a wingspan of 25 cm (9.8 in), and weighs 34–46 grams (1.2–1.6 oz).

This sparrow-sized bird has the typical short-tailed, large-headed kingfisher profile; it has blue upperparts, orange underparts and a long bill. It feeds mainly on fish, caught by diving, and has special visual adaptions to enable it to see prey under water. The glossy white eggs are laid in a nest at the end of a burrow in a riverbank.

The flight of the kingfisher is fast, direct and usually low over water. The short rounded wings whirr rapidly, and a bird flying away shows an electric-blue "flash" down its back.

Like all kingfishers, the common kingfishers is highly territorial.  If another kingfisher enters its territory, both birds display from perches, and fights may occur, where a bird will grab the other's beak and try to hold it under water. 

The common kingfisher typically lays five to seven (range two to ten) glossy white eggs, One or two eggs in most clutches fail to hatch because the parent cannot cover them. 

The eggs hatch in 19–20 days, and the altricial young are in the nest for a further 24–25 days, often more.  The early days for fledged juveniles are more hazardous; during its first dives into water, about four days after leaving the nest, a fledgling may become waterlogged and drown.

Most kingfishers die of cold or lack of food, and a severe winter can kill a high percentage of the birds. 

Only a quarter of the young survive to breed the following year, but this is enough to maintain the population.

Do I Alone Hear this Melody? : Unconditional Love

Tristan & Isolde 

Liebestod Isolde's aria from Tristan und Isolde

Act 3 last Scene 

I was once chatting with an old friend who had a very deep passion for opera. When he talked about it and translated it for me, you saw a shine in his eye of excitement and true passion and understanding for the drama that he conveys in each and every show he saw. I believe it was breakfast he was telling about an Opera called Tristan & Isolde, written by Richard Wagner. I knew nothing of the story, I thought there was a terribly unwatchable move of the same title(ish) but that's it.  We'll he went on further to describe the story and the drama of love, and poison and passion and death.  

He translated a few portions one in paticular  was the very last scene.  And after hearing it it burned through heart and was everlasting with me.  

By this point of the story, clearly a lot has happened. There are two people, who fall in love,  this love involved a love-potion  and poison mix-up, leaving this man, Tristan, dead on the floor as Isolde, his true love over his dying body. At this moment Isolde describes him as she seems him. How her heart felt toward him, how this love that she has are the sounds she hears, and he's the smells that surround her.. its everything.. he was and is her everything.

For some reason at the time of being introduced to this Opera, I was so moved by the feeling of 'yes, that's the kind of love I feel. That is what my heart beats, its like those words are it."  it was a sigh of relief.  

'Do i alone here this melody' to me sums up that love. Those words are the love that was/is/can/did/were felt in my heart and I love love the idea of it the drama of it its something that is taken for granted everyday but at end of the day love is everything and unconditional love for a someone, or my family or my friends it's there and as much i keep breaking (down),  I have only fear that I lose this love, this feeling, this emotion and then it would be what? nothing.. I fear that.  I don't want to feel nothing. 

So, that is where those words came. Its the unconditional, indescribable, overloading love that I have... 

I used this song once on a passion project. I was trying to woe a heart and using my abilities that I fell I speak better in - I edited a clip with some footage that was shot during one of the shoots he did and with this as its soundtrack. The soundtrack supported the beauty that he shot and I was a great collaboration.

And an 'Ode to the he who introduced me masterpiece, his favorite version of Liebestod.    

Watch the whole opera in its entirety. 

Mild und leise				Mildly and gently, 
wie er lächelt, 			how he smiles,
wie das Auge 				how the eye
hold er öffnet --- 			he opens sweetly ---
Seht ihr's, Freunde? 			Do you see it, friends?
Seht ihr's nicht?			Don’t you see it? 
Immer lichter 				Brighter and brighter
wie er leuchtet, 			how he shines,
stern-umstrahlet 			illuminated by stars
hoch sich hebt? 			rises high?
Seht ihr's nicht? 			Don’t you see it?
Wie das Herz ihm 			How his heart
mutig schwillt, 			boldly swells,	
voll und hehr 				fully and nobly
im Busen ihm quillt? 			wells in his breast?
Wie den Lippen, 			How from his lips
wonnig mild, 				delightfully, mildly,
süßer Atem 				sweet breath
sanft entweht --- 			softly wafts ---
Freunde! Seht! 				Friends! Look!
Fühlt und seht ihr's nicht? 		Don’t you feel and see it?
Hör ich nur diese Weise, 		Do I alone hear this melody,
die so wundervoll und leise, 		which wonderfully and softly,
Wonne klagend, 				lamenting delight,
alles sagend, 				telling it all,
mild versöhnend 			mildly reconciling
aus ihm tönend, 			sounds out of him,
in mich dringet, 			invades me,
auf sich schwinget, 			swings upwards,
hold erhallend 				sweetly resonating
um mich klinget? 			rings around me?
Heller schallend, 			Sounding more clearly,
mich umwallend --- 			wafting around me ---
Sind es Wellen				Are these waves 
sanfter Lüfte? 				of soft airs? 
Sind es Wogen 				Are these billows
wonniger Düfte? 			of delightful fragrances?
Wie sie schwellen,			How they swell, 
mich umrauschen, 			how they sough around me,
soll ich atmen, 			shall I breathe,
soll ich lauschen? 			Shall I listen?
Soll ich schlürfen, 			Shall I drink,
untertauchen? 				immerse?
Süß in Düften				Sweetly in fragrances 
mich verhauchen? 			melt away?
In dem wogenden Schwall,		In the billowingtorrent,
in dem tönenden Schall, 		in the resonating sound,
in des Welt-Atems wehendem All ---	in the wafting Universe of the World-Breath --- 
ertrinken, 				drown,
versinken --- 				be engulfed ---
unbewußt ---				unconscious --- 
höchste Lust! 				supreme delight!

I Love Me. (A reminder)

Anyone who knows me or just looks at me know that I much appreciation for Graffitti and Street Art. There is something about saying everything when taking a photo.. But it's everything when you say everything with a spray can.  From Unicorns and rainbow to Banksys and Marilyn's No matter what its a statement.  And what i love more then is just point blank text. Few words, big statement.

I cam across Curtis Kulig's ' Love Me' piece in New York which eventually came  to Los Angeles, and I was instantly in love. Besides the fact that I obsess over Love. the idea it, the passion, the Lana Del Rey kinda love, it maybe the not understanding it at all that intrigues me..i dont know. But there is something about the words LOVE ME that when i read, it was read like a question and though to  me it is a subtle plea for love but also a bold directive to someone to accepts as he/she is..  It May have been the time in my life when I may have felt I needed to ask the question because of doubt or cause its nice to hear who knows all I knew was I appreciated Curtis' thought.  

When I went to Tattoo Lounge to get this I felt I wanted to get this statement and though i felt it was both a plea and and demand.. I needed it to remind me and tell me and demand from me to me.. I love me.  At the time and still some days good and bad, I have to look at that tattoo and remind myself that I need to love myself before anyone could love me. Thats referring to how I treat myself and again, I forget sometimes who the priority it. That Im important and I care about myself enough today.   And so, with a little fill in the blank underline 'I" was written.  

One day ill master it. 

Wings: Bond with family (Sister and Mother and I)

May 6th, 2008

June 9, 2008

Growing up we weren't very religious. Sure we were the broke Catholic  and the only time we went to church was for major holiday (was it a coincidence that every time i remember going to church and falling asleep there would always be an earth quake? ) 
When growing my mother pretty much told us to believe whatever we want to believe as far as a higher power or something just dont be so naive to think there is something.  OK, makes sense. One I do remember was she would talk about our angels. How we have them they look over us and they wont help unless you ask. 
As i grew older, there were things that had happen that was proof that clearly someone  or something was looking over me.  

I would commute from San Bernardino to Santa Monica for two years as I got my Associates, while still living and working full time back in San Bernardino. Most of those 45-1hr drives I dont remember but I made them all home safely.  
Separate from that a car accident that I literally walked away from. Being told if i would not turned my wheel then the impact of hitting the tree after going through the city triangle billboard would have ended a bit different.  There are more examples but thats another day. 

So, the wings, So my mother was very pro tattoo and anti-piercings. So, our bonding time was through our visits with my beautiful friends Patti and Swag. Patti who I worked with Pre-AJ years at Circuit City and Swag her amazingly talented husband, they both owned the tattoo shop, The Tattoo Lounge.  

P.s mind you Swag passed unfortunately but he was one of the longest committed relationships I ever had. So, i am capable. Miss you swag. 

It began with my getting a angel on her ankle it had my initials and my sisters initials.  Not sure if I or my sis came next but my sister got female angle in the center of her back.  So, to follow suit I proceed to get the angel wings. Three sessions, Three hours each. 
First session: outline both wings 
Second session: shading 
Third session: expansion

So, those wings are symbol of the bond that I have with my family. The two most important and beautiful women in my life who both helped me to be a good man, or the very least supports me in all my ventures and hold my hand when doubt overrides everything. 

(It is clear and obvious I am not angel nor do i pretend to be one  )